Bit of a journal session this blog is.
Over the last 8 months or so I've begun to discover something about myself.
I'm afraid.
It's become apparent to me through interactions with other people and as I contemplate where to go and what to do with my life and time.
What of though? Sure, I could say heights. Snakes. Public speaking. Clowns. Approaching girls. Or any other number of common answers. Some may hold validity. But that's not what I'm here to talk about.
I'm afraid of a man. A person in the future.
Me.
I'm afraid of becoming overwhelmingly average. And no matter now cliché it may sound, I'm afraid of not having a story, experiences.
I'm afraid of waking up one day in my 50's and taking a look at my life and instead of feeling joy, vitality and excitement, feeling my heart drop and limbs become heavy as I think about the day ahead.
Afraid of waking up and thinking fuck... what am I doing.
Afraid of looking back on all the times I'm in now and only seeing all the chances, opportunities and experiences that I missed or shied away from because I wasn't man enough to take a risk. I mean seriously, what do we have to lose? Especially at 19 years old.
Afraid of looking back and only seeing all the times I didn't say yes. Rather than being full of all the echoing laughter, sadness, excitement, thrill, pain, love and adventure from all the times I said yes. All the times I took a jump.
Afraid of looking back and only seeing the times I didn't follow a gut feeling or a curiosity.
I'm afraid of not being able to move around properly due to poor health, afraid of not being able to play with my grandkids, afraid of not having a purpose or passion and just floating through life like a plan without a direction. And as Arnold Schwarzenegger said, a plane without a direction will land in the wrong place.
I'm afraid of being sick, immobile.
Of being unfit, overweight, lazy and diseased.
Of being constrained by financial limitations.
Of not being able to provide what I really want for myself and my family.
Of being trapped by self doubt and limiting beliefs.
Afraid of being an overwhelmingly average motherfucker.
That man is always in my mind, motivating me, pushing me daily. Pushing me to make decisions and take actions that will result in the OPPOSITE OF HIM. Actions in fitness, self development, in how I act in my relationships with people around me.
So for you I say, what is your fear? What are you afraid of? Write it down like this, list it all out. But don't shy away from it. Use it to motivate you and PUSH you towards breaking through it or ensuring it doesn't happen.
If its heights, go bloody skydiving.
It it's being overweight or unhealthy- begin creating a habit of going to the gym or eating well. Start for small amounts of time or just slowly eliminating the bad food. Then grow it into a sustainable lifestyle
If it's being broke- set up a financial plan, educate yourself on investing and wealth creation.
Whatever it is, TAKE ACTION. Intent filled action. INTENT is the key word, it can't be mindless. You need to know why you are doing it, and be fully present while doing it. Do it with the end goal and purpose in mind.
Figure out what you don't want.
Use that to crystallise what you do want.
Then act. Move towards it.
Misha.
Something Small
The mood that your favourite songs put you in
The inspiration that blossoms
The confidence that flows
The moment of pure connection to that moment
And that moment only
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