Two days ago I wrote a rap.
A RAP.
Like lyrics, rhyming, allusions, everything
I don't even know how it came about. I was watching a bunch of youtube vids of rappers and Britains Got Talent (gonna admit, I f*ckin love that show). Then I had a shower and just started putting sentences together. I started with the words "legs are heavy" (yes I was slightly ripping off Eminem). I remember after the first two sentences I automatically began to shut myself down, turning off the creativity and thinking 'I can't do that'.
But something about the day, a sense of possibility and inspiration that was a residual effect of spending the morning training at the gym, then cleaning the gym, getting coffee and interviewing my boxing coach for an assessment. So there I was in the shower, and I didn't bring down that mental barrier on the sentences.
I've always loved rap. It makes up 95% of my playlists. The way that those guys can just link sentences, flows, allusions and little, crazy pun and wordplay has baffled my mind. Guys like Dave, NF, Chris Webby, Krept and Konan and Stormzy. I myself have always been good at 'traditional' writing- essays, creative writing, emails. I pretty much did well in school just because of my ability to write, and I wrote myself into university. I've always loved the creative challenge it brings as well.
So I began writing down whatever flowed through my head. Next minute, BAM. FOUR HOURS had passed, the state of flow and stimulation I was in was something I had never experienced before. Now I've written a few pages worth of stuff. But the most scary thing was sending it to a couple of mates to hear what they thought.
My heart was actually pounding as I sent the vid off.
What are they gonna think
Man everyone's gonna think I'm stupid, an idiot, crazy, so weird.
But FUCK IT. We never know if we don't try. And this was something I was genuinely proud and passionate about, I felt it was genuine and relatable. So I did it.
Like the YouTube group Yes Theory say: SEEK DISCOMFORT. (I mentioned this in the last blog, you betta have checked them out).
I got some great feedback and comments which inspired me to do more. But the point of the story hear is LEAN INTO THE DISCOMFORT. If you feel the resistance of fear when approaching a new area or thing, then that is most likely the thing you are MEANT TO DO. YOU NEED TO DO THAT. GO DO IT. FUCK IT. Who cares what people think? Who cares if you fail? We need to fully realise that people are too worried about themselves and what they are doing and whats going on in their life to really care about what you do or what happens, they might see your failure for a second or hour but it willl ALWAYS get lost in the whirlwind of their own lives.
Guys, literally No. One. Cares. Not in a harsh way. But at the end of the day its true. Everyone is focused on themselves. It's just human nature. We are literally wired to be focused on ourselves and our self preservation. GOOD NEWS FOR US. Release that dependance on others for validation and support, find your own support and validation from within your heart and confidence in your ability to do what you dream of. Something I myself struggle with quite a bit is seeking validation from others, for everyfuckinthing. In boxing, when approaching girls, when making decisions or choosing clothes.
Like, DUDE. Just reach into your gut feeling, really feel it, then go with it. Because often when you don't, we feel out of kilter and unaligned. Speaking from experience here.
Do YOU. Release yourself from the addiction to external validation.
**
One of the most influential people I know, Ed Mylett, host of the Ed Mylett show and named one of the top 50 wealthiest men in America under 50 years old, speaks on this. He's a mountain of a man, more ripped at 50 than pretty much every gym goer in their twenties I've ever seen. With a net worth of $400,000,000, he is legit. He makes big money from public speaking and events. However he wasn't always like that- he was introverted as hell when he was younger, so much so that people called him "Eddie Myself".
He was forced to take public speaking and drama in the last semester of his college so that he could graduate, he had no other options. He had already dropped a sign language class because he was too scared to PRESENT A SONG IN SIGN LANGUAGE- WITH NO SPEAKING with 3 other people. So he had to do these classes. He was terrified.
But these fears, when tackled and approached, changed his life. Now he is one of the largest self development figures on instagram and YouTube, hosting a number one show on Itunes- The Ed Mylett show. His content literally has reshaped my whole mindset and created an open future for me and my life- the same with my best friend in England.
Here's his instagram just in case you are intrigued-
So, to all the Aspirers reading. Identify that thing you're scared of. The thing where you can feel a resistance pushing, feel your heart race and palms sweat. Find it.
And run headfirst through it. Take a leap.
Because on the other side of our fears, lie our greatest potentials and futures.
Thank you once again for reading. Until next time, keep moving forward.
Misha
Something Small
Collapsing into bed, exhausted
The satisfaction of looking back at all the critical things you accomplished
Knowing you deserve your sleep
Limbs and mind releasing and sinking into the softness
The phantom of stilled movement and released concentration singing in your veins and muscles
Slipping and sinking into a velvet blanket
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